Lorenzo PasqualisThis post was first published on CoderHood as 16 Best Source Code Gems [Collection]. CoderHood is a blog dedicated to the human dimension of software engineering.
Developer's personalities shine in odd ways. One them is in a (sometimes) subtle sense of humor, choice of words and attitude that you can find in code, code comments, and error messages. It often feels like a stream of consciousness that reflects the human reality of a moment in time.
I collect those gems and here I am sharing with you some of my favorites. Some I found myself in the code I worked with. Others, I collected from various sources. All have been stripped of anything that could be considered IP.
1 -- Wild Compiler.
  /*
  * I don't know why the compiler hates me.
  * I changed this comment many times, and every
  * time it generated the same executable.
  * You should try. It's wild.
  */
2 -- If You Get Here.
  /*
  * If you get here, I screwed up.
  * If I screwed up, I clearly don't know what I am doing.
  * If I don't know what I am doing, and you are looking at my code...
  *  ...we are both in trouble.
  */
3 -- Classic, Useless Documentation.
  int i = 0;  // Set i to zero.
4 -- Whatever You Do, I Can Do Better.
  int getRandomNumber() {
      return(rand()+1);  // You have been one-upped
  }
5 -- Don't Even Try.
  /*
  * Don't even try to understand this.
  * I wrote it, and I have no idea why it works.
  * But it does. My subconscious is that good.
  */
6 -- Feeling Sick.
Exception up = new Exception("Something is really wrong.");
throw up;Â Â // ha ha
7 -- CUI (Coding Under the Influence).
// drunk, fix later
8 -- No Comment
/*
    * Sorry, I have removed all comments from this code.
    * If you can't understand it, you shoudn't touch it anyway.
    */
9 -- Sincerely
public boolean thisCodeSucks() {
      return true; // sincerely
}
10 -- Random Number
int getRandomNumber() {
return 4; // Guaranteed to be random. I used a dice.
}
11 -- So Long
Not code, but still really funny.
12 -- Human Needs
This is taken from the Apple Chess Engine code.
  //
  // Paradoxically enough, moving as quickly as possible is
  // not necessarily desirable. Users tend to get frustrated
  // once they realize how little time their Mac really spends
  // to crush them at low levels. In the interest of promoting
  // harmonious Human - Machine relations, we enforce minimum
  // response times.
  //
  const NSTimeInterval kInteractiveDelay    = 2.0;
  const NSTimeInterval kAutomaticDelay  = 4.0;
13 -- Textbook Comment
  /*
  * Explanation omitted as an exercise for the reader.
  */
14 -- Expiring Code
// If you are reading this after 1/1/2010
// there's something wrong.
// This should have been ripped out by then.
if (DateTime.Now > new DateTime(2010, 1, 1)) {
throw new Exception("This code is now obsolete");
}
15 -- "Temporary" Code
// somedev1 -Â Â 6/7/02 Adding temporary tracking of Login screen
// somedev2 -Â Â 5/22/07 Temporary my ass
16 -- Family Issues
/*
 * The game of life
 */
if (status==SINGLE) {
      money = 1;
} elsif (status==DIVORCING) {
      money = money / 2;
} elsif (status==DIVORCED) {
      money = money * 2;
} else { // status==MARRIED
      money = rand() * monthly_salary + 0; // Savings is represented by zero.
}
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