"Wow! They are afraid of nothing! They are so brave!" We often hear these words when we see someone doing something that we would never dare to do. But what is courage? Is it the absence of fear? Is it the ability to face danger without feeling fear? Is it the ability to act in the face of fear?

First off... Lack of fear is not courage. Sometimes that can be foolish, and occasionally we can really regret our decisions. Sometimes instantly. Sometimes later. But that isn't really courage. Courage is the ability to face danger, fear, or change without being overcome by it.

This morning I got my hair styled. I generally get it cut into a bob, and dye it quite deep burgundy. When backlit it looks like it's on fire! I love it. When making the decision to do both of those 8 years ago it was terrifying. And took me years to build the courage for. After all, if it looked awful I was stuck with it until it grew out!

That was 8 years ago. I've had enough compliments to know that it was the right choice. But I've also got a little bored with it. What was scary and new, is now old hat. Now, I've been thinking that I needed a change for a while, but was certain that nothing else would suit me. I wanted an undercut, more red and maybe even something asymmetrical. But who was I to think that I could rock an awesome style like that?!

Going redder was not too much of a problem - I was scared of the damage to my hair, but not the look. The rest... Nope. I was too scared. This morning though I decided to start with the undercut. I can always grow it out if I don't like it. And I can always go asymmetrical later. But I can't do either if I don't start. That was my courage. I was scared, but I did it anyway.

And then, whilst the stylist was washing the dye out I decided "In for a penny, in for a pound!" "What do you think to also making asymmetrical?". She was all for it (I don't know if a customer saying do something OTT on the fly is a hairdresser's dream or nightmare).

The clippers came out, she started shaving the side of my head. It was terrifying! However, I liked it do much that when she asked if it was enough or did I want more off I said "More!".

Here's the end result!

But... This post isn't for me to show off my new haircut, well not just for that...

No, I wanted to write this because it impacts our daily life in more ways than just our style.

I stayed in my previous job for 14 years because I was terrified to look for something else. Now, before my ex-colleagues take offense, I loved working there (that was part of the fear!), but I missed chances to grow both professionally and personally. When I did change in 2020 I learnt so much about myself, and took on so much more!

The same with public speaking. I always looked up to speakers as these rare, special people. They were awesome, and I was not worthy to be in that company. Then a chance conversation at Techorama in 2018 led me to speak at Swetugg in 2019. I was smitten! I first got onto the stage when I was 42. How many years did I waste by not doing it earlier?

Oh, and speakers not these special people. They are people full stop. Some with more experience, some with more confidence. But they are just people. As are you. Well most... Some still make me star struck when I get to meet them 😅

In doing both of these things I have experienced so much, and gained so many new friends. Learning this late in life isn't the best, maybe. And I'm still too scared for some things that I should just be doing. But I'm getting there. And I'm loving the journey.

So, what are you scared of? What are you missing out on because you are scared? Learn that new tool/language/framework. Go for that dream job! Do that thing that you would love to, but are too afraid to do. You never know, you might just love it!