==== LYRICS ====

VERSE 1

It's a laundry quandary
It's a hosiery heist
What creature takes off with my socks
In the middle of the night

I swear I had two dozen
All neatly rolled and paired
But half my socks are lonely now
And believably scared

CHORUS
Did the washer take up darning
Or the dryer have a snack?
Are there aliens absconding
With our socks both white and black?

Is it gremlins raiding baskets
Or a wicked feline plot?
A band of rogue lint fairies
Or do they just walk off?

Whoa....
What happened to my socks?

VERSE 2
Perhaps it could explain
In a very simple way
That sweater no one claims to own
It won't fit anyway

The greatest politicians
And the scientific minds
Despite their clout can't work it out
With their feet as cold as mine

[CHORUS]

BRIDGE

Argyle, crew, ankle, or toe
You'd think that someone would surely know
Wool or cotton, blue or tan
It's as strange as that thing with the pens

(Seriously, why can I never find one with ink?)

[CHORUS x2]